Friday, May 19, 2017
Our children have been home with us for over 7 years now. I would LOVE to say that everything has worked out but that is not the case! Our daughter Alison is doing well but has so many issues with developing relationships. She is a loner and spends most of her time in her room. She is very sweet and tries very hard but I am worried about her future. Our son Jayson is a whole other story. I don't even know where to begin! He is a habitual liar (about the silliest things) he is constantly stealing from others and has a hard time with sexual issues. Touching people inappropriately and sneaking to watch porn. He does not care about consequences and who he hurts to get what he wants. We have sent him to military school hoping to develop character and structure in his life...it was a FAIL! He has been to numerous counselors and psychiatrists...another FAIL! He has been in and out of jail, got kicked out of a group home and now once again in jail!! Jayson is a Sociopath. There is no way to help him. Regardless of how much we love him, how much we give him, how much we support him....FAIL! He turned 18 in March and has decided to go back to his birth mom. He leaves this month. So, I just want to warn others out there that are considering adoption....this could happen to you! It could be a FAIL! These older children come with such baggage...such hurt..such damage! They can destroy a family within months! I have had lost sleep because he would sneak out of the house during the night to steal from neighbors, use my credit cards for Xbox purchases and pornography;I would stay up at night to catch him in the act. My marriage was so damaged from the constant arguing. I almost lost my job from so much time off work for court hearings, school problems, doctor's appointments and the night's that he would run away. We locked our bedroom door at night because we were fearful of him and did not know when he might snap and we would end up dead. It is UGLY! It is EXHAUSTING! It is DAMAGING! If adoption is in your heart just know that these kids are not coming to you with hearts to love you. They are coming with hearts to "use you". Some of these children are incapable of loving! That is just the hard truth! Some cases have worked out but most of the families that I know who have adopted are struggling with these same issues....some worse than what we have experienced! Another family we are close to has had so many problems with their adopted son. He has pushed the birth mother down the stairs, put the father's toothbrush in the cat litter and the father ended up with a severe stomach parasite! They had to secretly install camera's to watch his every move! Oh, and he tried to burn down their house! Please really pray and consider the things I mentioned before adopting! We are a Godly family and wanted to give children a future but instead......they destroyed ours! Our older kids stopped coming over to visit. They started despising these children for what they were doing to us! Our family was ripped to shreds! If you have younger biological children I suggest you do NOT adopt older children! It is JUST NOT SAFE!