I am excited. September is almost over!!! Hate to wish my life away but October is my favorite month and I am ready for a new beginning!! Trent is doing better. We are still waiting on additional referrals for our adoption. I am so impatient. I keep forgetting that this is not the adoption agencies main priority in life so they are not quite quick enough for me. I really wish that more information would be found out about the little girl we recieved the picture on. She really touches my heart!! Our fundraisers are not going very well. Little disappointing but I will keep trying to raise more money so that we do not go broke in the process of this adoption. I know that God will provide!!!!!!!!! Not much to report at this time. I can't wait until I am writing this blog in Ukraine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Do you ever feel like for some unknown reason you are just being picked on?? Well September has been that kind of month for us. Tuesday night we had to admit our son Trent (20) to the hospital. He is a hemophiliac and had a really bad bleed. He is being discharged today but I am sure the medical bills will be horrible. Really concerns me that we will not be able to go through with the adoption now. Money is an issue with us. If the medical expenses are to high we will not have the funds to go through with finding our daughter. Is this SATAN on attack!! Part of me is soooo tired and thinks maybe this is the final sign that we are not suppose to do this. The other part of me is fire mad and ready to tell SATAN where he can stick it!!!

Well, no new news!! Some parents have already submitted their dossier, had there fingerprints and are so close to traveling. I was right there with them until I lost my daughter to an Italian family!! Now, I am taking my time to finish up because I am just not feeling a reason to rush. We recieved a couple of pics of children. There were two little girls that Todd and I felt a connection with and decided to inquire about them. Today we learned that one of them had two siblings and the other they could not find any information on. I was told not to get attached to them. So, once again my heart is just sitting idle waiting on my daughter or daughter's to be found. It is like an emotional roller coaster and I tell you some days I am so ready to get off the ride. I know that everything is done in Gods time and that I need to wait and be patient but I just want to know her, touch her, love her, comfort her and I want this all NOW>>> I have already waited for three years on this dream. Maybe they should wait until they have all the information on the children and are for sure they want to be adopted before they send pics and tell you not to get attached!!

I am so down and depressed. I just can't seem to get out of this mood. I just can't understand how this happened. I am trying to stay positive and upbeat and want to go on with an adoption of a different child but I am just not into it! I have looked at other children's pictures and try to get excited about them...it is just not there!! I am hoping this changes soon. I don't even care about finishing the paperwork. Last week I was so excited that we were almost finished with the dossier and now I just honestly dont care. We have a chili supper fundraiser...dont care!! AHHH! This is just not the outcome I expected. I was counting down the days until we could see the excitemenmt on her face when we got to the orphanage.....well, the Italians stole that from me!! I am bound to get better...I will just pray!!

Writing this post in blue because that is how I feel. Yesterday I recieved a phone call from our adoption agency that the little girl we were trying to adopt was adopted by an Italian couple. OUCH!! We had this little girl in our home for three weeks, they did not know her at all. She is just a little girl who wanted love. They were there, we were not!! My heart is broken but my spirit is strong. We are once again on the search for our daughter. I know she is out there and we will find her with Gods help. This is a bump in the road (more like a crater) but God will heal our hearts and we will continue on down the path that HE is clearing for us.

We sent our I600-A form in on Saturday, September 5th. This is a petition to adopt an orphan. When they recieve it we will be called for additional fingerprints. It usually takes around 3 weeks to get this appointment. Once they recieve the fingerprints it is my understanding we will then be sent another form granting permission to adopt internationally. The whole process takes 4-6 wks. WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!
I should have the dossier complete the end of this week and will wire the money needed to Ukraine through a Moneygram (all new to me). So one step closer to seeing our princess again. Keep us in your prayers.

Nothing to exciting to report. I am currenty working on my dossier. Taking off Wednesday so I can try to speed things up a bit. Little discouraged for some reason. Wish I could just wake up in the morning and she would be in her bed all wrapped up in warm soft blankets with her favorite puppy Jack by her side. But, life is not that easy. Everything is a challenge that makes us stronger, better people in the end. I think of all the stories in the bible where people waited hundreds of years for answers to their prayers, for some kind of sign from God. I guess a few more weeks for this form to be signed and that paper to be approved will not kill me!!! I am so blessed to have great family and friends to encourage and embrace me.